Sex Ed, Sasuke Style!
by iyfanatic
Summary: [AU, meaning Sasuke never went crazy and went AWOL] Naruto is curious as to how Irukasensei satisfies Kakashi's perverted cravings, seeing as how they're both guys. He asks Sasuke for some answers, and receives a few 'lessons' from him instead. [SasuNaru]


IY: New story. I know, I know. I shouldn't be starting new ones when I already have so many pending...

Kit: You got that right.

IY: But I can't help it!

**Disclaimer: **Don't own!

**Warning:** Future yaoi... Like in the next chapter... Probably.

**Sex Ed, Sasuke Style!**

**Chapter ONE**

"Hey, Sasuke…"

The black-haired teen glanced up from the scroll he was reading, curious as to what the other wanted. "Yeah, dobe?"

Naruto shifted onto his stomach, releasing his own scroll carelessly. It rolled to the edge of Sasuke's bed, where it proceeded to fall onto the clean wooden floor.

"How do two guys have sex?"

Sasuke's eyes widened and he choked on his own saliva. "W-what?!"

Naruto blinked at his reaction, but shrugged it off as another weird anomaly that came with the package known as 'Sasuke.'

"Well, you know how Kakashi's a really big pervert?"

Sasuke nodded his head cautiously, not really knowing where the blond was heading with this strange conversation.

"Okay, well, I was thinking… He's been dating Iruka-sensei for a really long time now, right?"

Again Sasuke nodded an affirmative, his perfectly shaped eyebrow rising.

"Well, I doubt Iruka-sensei would still be with him if he ever cheated, so I was thinking…"

Naruto trailed off and Sasuke leaned forward slightly, wanting to know what the blond could've possibly dreamt up.

"If he can't do it with women, he must be doing it with Iruka-sensei! I mean, he _must_ have urges, right? He's a pervert!" Naruto added, waving his hands erratically, as if trying to prove to Sasuke that being a pervert meant being a wanton sex fiend.

Sasuke coughed, trying to hide his laugh.

"So, you see… I started wondering… How would they do it? I mean, neither of them have a…" Naruto blushed, the color reaching all the way to his ears. "A, well, _you_ know."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "It's called a vagina, Naruto. And yes, you're right; neither of them have one."

The reddish hue slowly left Naruto's cheeks. "Well, that's why I'm asking you how they do it, teme!"

Sasuke smirked. "It's basically the same as heterosexual sex, Naruto. There's not much difference between the male and female bodies, after all."

Naruto's face heated up again, and Sasuke chose this time to pounce, loving the way the blond was squirming uncomfortably.

"You _do_ know how that works, right, dobe?"

Naruto's blue eyes swept away from Sasuke's intense black gaze, fixing onto a small stain on the wall of Sasuke's bedroom.

"So you're still a virgin at the age of nineteen, huh, dobe?" Sasuke asked devilishly.

"Eh, n-no!" Naruto stuttered. "I-I've done it before!"

Sasuke scooted closer to the blond, abandoning his scroll on katon jutsu in favor of more… _interesting_ facts.

"Really, now? And when was this?"

Naruto blushed, turning his face and hoping to be swallowed by Sasuke's extremely fluffy king-sized bed… … No suck luck. Damn.

"Eh, w-when I was training with Ero-sennin… On my fourteenth birthday…"

"Then if you're not a virgin, why are you acting so much like one, dobe?" Sasuke asked, smirking smugly.

"I'm not acting like a virgin, bastard!"

Sasuke's smugness went up a notch as he witnessed Naruto's face flaming. The intense red blush reached all the way to the edges of the blond's hairline and crept downwards, under his black-and-orange shirt, causing Sasuke to wonder where it finished.

"Well, anyway, if what you're saying is true, then you have a point of reference." Sasuke finally said, deciding that he had made Naruto squirm enough for one day.

"What do you mean, IF?" Naruto exclaimed angrily, surging up onto his elbows.

"Hn. It's kind of hard to believe you've really had sexual relations before, if you can't even make guesses as to how two males can have sex."

Naruto blushed, avoiding Sasuke's eyes again. "I-it's 'cause… I-I don't really remember what happened… I was drunk." Naruto finished miserably.

Sasuke snorted. "Let me guess; it was your first time drinking, right?"

Naruto nodded, gazing at his friend out of the corner of his eye. He was relieved that Sasuke hadn't outright laughed at him.

Sasuke shook his head. "You really are a dobe. If you can't remember what happened, that practically doesn't count. No wonder you act like a virgin."

Naruto glared at his friend, scowling. "Well, it's not like _you_'ve had sex either!"

Sasuke waved his hand regally. "I haven't found anyone worth my time."

Naruto snorted. "Right. For a second there I forgot I was speaking to the Great Uchiha Sasuke."

Sasuke ignored him. "Besides, just because I haven't actually had sex yet doesn't mean I don't know _how_."

The blond-haired teen looked at him with big eyes. "Really? How?"

"Remember a few years ago when Kakashi went crazy looking for his Icha Icha books?"

Naruto gasped. "That was _you_?!"

Sasuke nodded, smirking. "I used my Sharingan to memorize them, so I was able to return his entire collection after a couple of days."

"You're lucky it only took you that long. Kakashi-sensei was ready to call out his nin-dogs."

Sasuke shrugged, not caring.

Naruto tilted his head, considering. He chewed on his lip, causing it to swell and turn red.

Sasuke sighed, watching him. "What, dobe?"

Naruto blinked, startled. "Oh, eh, well…" He paused, trying to round up his courage. "Will you teach me what was in those books?!"

Sasuke blinked slowly. Naruto watched his face anxiously, trying to figure out what the bastard was thinking.

"Hn. I guess I could…" Sasuke finally drawled.

"Yes!" Naruto yelled happily, jumping off the bed in order to properly do a victory dance.

Sasuke smirked. _You have _no **idea**_ what you've just gotten yourself into, dobe…_

XxX

Okay, so... What do you think? Review please!

Oh, and just as an interesting fact... This story idea came to me as a dream. Yeah. I'm a pervert. Sue me.

... Okay, nevermind. Don't.


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